Men Behaving Badly: Toxic Masculinity
This really should not be a surprise. Yet here we are again. Another instance where toxic masculinity takes center stage. There will be plenty of analyzing last night’s slap by Will Smith on Chris Rock. Which, by the way, is assault and in some states battery. I’m going to do my best to focus.
Last night was about toxic masculinity. Toxic masculinity, as many of you reading know, involves societal and cultural pressures that are often internalized, which set a pattern and standard for how men are expected to act and react. And it is a sneaky little shit.
Let’s get this out of the way, Chris Rock’s joke was not funny, and it was inappropriate, and on the night there definitely were worse jokes. Not condoning it, just thinking out loud on all that occurred. It was cringe-worthy and ableist, particularly if he knew of Jada Pinkett Smith’s condition. For someone who made the documentary “Good Hair”, Chris Rock should have been better than that. The documentary is available for free on YouTube’s Movies and Shows channel.
The manner that Will Smith reacted, however, and the support he is getting from men and women, demonstrates how rooted toxic masculinity is in society. (As I said, Chris Rock is not innocent either). The reasoning during his acceptance speech, and the support he is receiving for defending his wife, too, is problematic. I don’t have an issue with him standing up for Jada, it is how and when he decided to do it. Let’s not forget the statement from The Academy about not condoning violence, but leaving Smith in attendance after what is basically assault. Also, there is a significant amount of projection showing up (not going to amplify the anti-blackness that is happening on Twitter, but is is showing up in real time). This is getting deeper by the minute.
All of these streams are exemplifying and enabling toxic masculinity. The further we reflect on all the instances surrounding this event, the more we see just how deep this goes. I am laying the responsibility to do the heavy lifting on calling out and addressing toxic masculinity on men; we need to address toxic masculinity and stop replicating in society. How does toxic masculinity play out?
- Violence and aggression, indicators of power
- Maintaining the appearance of toughness, hardness, can’t be made to break down
- Suppressing emotions [until you act out on those suppressed emotions, like Will Smith did]
These are just a few, by the way. For more info, definitely check out the American Psychological Association’s 2018 “APA Guidelines for Psychological Practice With Boys and Men.” Here is what the APA writes:
Although there are differences in masculinity ideologies, there is a particular constellation of standards that have held sway over large segments of the population, including: anti-femininity, achievement, eschewal of the appearance of weakness, and adventure, risk, and violence. These have been collectively referred to as traditional masculinity ideology (Levant & Richmond, 2007).
I believe there are some strengths in some aspects of masculinity, yet for reasons I can’t understand our culture, society fixates on duplicating the toxic traits.
Don’t disregard the work that some men are doing; we are learning and growing, and questioning…and we must not stop the progress we are making. If we are to truly share power, opportunities, resources, be equitable in theory and practice, we must increase our efforts to be non-toxic.
Finally, there is no one masculinity, something the APA Guidelines also address. We have multiple streams of influencing pressures, norms, and expectations, leading to multiple masculinities, uplifting the constructive and eliminating the toxic.
Okay…I need a cup of tea after this craziness…be good to each other.
